If you suck at planning dates, you need to not let the other person make all your decisions about your dates. Take the initiative and assert yourself. If you find it really that hard to plan dates, stick with tried and tested ideas, such as a movie, a meal, going out dancing, or even just going for a hike. Simple ideas work best, so try and keep it local and fairly cheap. At the end of the day, if you are with someone who really gets you, then it doesn't really matter all that much if you plan something that is a total disaster -- just make sure you have a say in it!
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From learning how to assert yourself, to picking up some simple date ideas that are 100% fool proof, this guide to dating when you are no good at all at planning dates will set you up for a good night! Before you read on, though, why not bookmark this page now so you can refer back to all these glorious date saving nuggets of gold again and again! Now, if you are all done, why not grab a glass of something and sit back as we teach you how to get your date planning game on. First up, we will tell you exactly why...
When you go on a date with someone, you are both agreeing to spend a certain amount of time together. Time, being a finite resource, and the most valuable one that we have, should be spent by both parties in a way that is meaningful, fun, and fulfilling. That is why planning dates should be a joint effort.
One hidden reason for being not so great at planning dates may be that your shortfalls are the projections of the person you are dating, or of someone in your past who you have dated. If you have a tendency to date people who are more assertive than you are, it is easy to slip into a pattern of thinking that you are not good at something whereas in actual fact, the person you try to plan dates with is just more forceful than you are. This is something to consider before you start to believe that you are just not good at planning dates.
It's not hard to get better at planning. Ever heard of project management? It is more commonly a set of skills for business planning, but there are a few tricks that project management can teach the layperson in regards to time management, project design, and resource acquisition. If that sounds too fancy for you, why not simply use a model to break down the necessary parts of planning a date?
It is true what they say -- the world spins round faster when you are with the right person. The meaning behind this perhaps slightly arcane phrase is that time flies when you are having fun. If you are with the right person, it really does not matter too much what you do. You could be hiding in a bus shelter from the rain, or eating fries in a MacDonalds, seeing a soaring operatic production, or just lazing around at your pad -- whatever you end up doing, what makes it special is who you are doing it with. Bear this in mind when you are planning dates and it will help take some of the pressure off. Can't stop worrying about whether it will go right or not? Get philosophical about it -- if you plan a date and it is absolutely amazing and some guy or gal just straight up turns their nose up at what you planned, or puts in no effort to enjoy themselves, then that person is just not worth dating. A guy or gal who loves to hang out with you just because it's you -- now that is the kind of person you should be dating, and if you are lucky enough to have someone like that, then you will for sure find it 100% easier to plan dates not just for them, but with them.
The fact is, if you want whatever, you get whatever. You need to be specific when it comes to what you want -- after all, your experiences make your life, and life is short, so make your experiences count. So the answer to this one is yeah, you do need to be good at planning dates, because when you take charge, you are asserting your power in the world and empowering yourself.
It is easy, when you are not that good at something, to let your partner handle it all, but what if you are actually not so bad after all? Perhaps your partner has been telling you that you suck at this or that -- you will need to examine whether he or she is holding you back, and call them out. A lot of relationships, (in fact, almost all of them,) are in fact a powerplay, in which only one person can come out on top at any one thing. That whole compromise thing is harder than it sounds, and pretty rare to find in the wild.