When it comes to making breakups suck less, InstantHookups has got the information you need, to help make this situation go more smoothly than it might. Breaking up is never an easy thing to do. It's awkward, uncomfortable, hurtful. No one wants to be the one who gets hurt - or the one who has to hurt someone else. Breakups will always suck, but you can make breakups suck less, if you take a look at a few key points before you break up with someone. Firstly, you need to do it face to face. This is really important. Don't play the blame game. It's not necessary. Be truthful with your partner, and keep the conversation on track, but do give them a chance to say what they need to say. There are two of you in this relationship. Be open to what they have to say, and keep your cool. It's an emotional time after all, and you're both unlikely to like everything that is said at this time. Try to leave the conversation on a good note, and don't feel guilty for doing what you need to do. Let's take a closer look at these points.
Yes, breakups suck no matter what, but please don't break up with someone via text message, voice message, or even telephone. You shared personal time together and it makes sense that you end things with someone you've shared intimate time with face to face. They may not be happy with you at first, but in the long run they will get over it. When they do get over it, whether or not you had the courage to face them for the breakup will speak volumes about how they look at you in the future. You don't have to be best friends down the line, but if you go about this with some integrity, you'll have the opportunity to be cool with each other when you cross paths in the future. Not doing so will only serve to make things even worse, and when you cross paths in the future it's not going to be a pleasant interaction. It is well worth your time and effort to do this right. Is it going to be uncomfortable? Yes, it probably will be, but if you go about it the right way, whatever the reaction from your soon-to-be ex partner is, you'll be able to hold your head high in the end. That alone is worth the discomfort. Whatever happens, you'll walk away feeling relieved and you'll be able to move forward with a clear conscience.
There are two people in every relationship. When it goes wrong, there are usually two sides to a story so don't waste time playing the blame game. There's no point. You don't need to be 'right', you just need to be on your way from this relationship, so keep the blame down to a minimum and if there's blame thrown your way, take it with a grain of salt. This conversation will be over soon anyhow. When breakups occur, there are sure to be high emotions and a lot of resentment that has probably built up over a period of time, so be understanding of that when you're breaking up with someone. They're going to have some feelings about the relationship as well, and there's nothing wrong with them saying what's on their mind. Make sure that you're not wasting time on finger pointing at them and remember that they're getting some pretty unpleasant news, so they're not likely to be happy about it. Even if you feel totally justified in your feelings about their wrongdoing they will have some grievances on their end as well. Say what you need to say to them, and let them do the same.
Again, it takes two to be in a relationship, and it likely took two to bring it to its breaking point. You will definitely have a lot to say about why you feel it needs to end. Your partner will also be sure to have a lot of things to say as well. Just because you are breaking up with them doesn't mean that they haven't been struggling with some issues in your relationship, so hear them out. Doing this will make what happens in the future much easier to deal with, and it will help to create some sort of an understanding between the two of you, so you can move forward. There's always something important to be learned, and break ups suck, but they're also an opportunity to learn about what we do and don't want. They're also an opportunity for us to learn about some of our own shortcomings so that we can take that information forward with us, and apply it to our future relationships. There's nothing wrong with hearing someone out. Even if you don't like what they have to say, once you get over your reaction to their words, you'll find something that you can take away from the conversation, and use to your benefit in the future.
You don't have to be brutal at this point. It's ending. You should still be honest with them, though. Even if it's as simple as saying that the relationship simply isn't for you. It's not what you're looking for, and you'd like to move on. It's always important to be honest with someone in a relationship, even at the end of it. Again, they're sure to be truthful with you about a few things as well, so there's a lot that's sure to transpire in the conversation, but it's all worth it. Honesty is always the best policy. Even if they're angry with you at the moment that you're breaking up with them, they'll be sure to appreciate your honesty. It might not even be right away, because the truth hurts sometimes. Down the road though, they will also have other relationships and your honesty with them will ultimately help them to be more successful in their future relationships, just as their honesty will help you to be more successful in your future relationships. Even if each of you don't like the feedback at the time.
You're there for a reason and it's not to work out the relationship or get it back on track. You're there to end it, so if you see the conversation heading in a direction where it doesn't need to go, you need to make sure that you're steering it back in the right direction. Stay focused, and be quick to redirect the tone of the conversation, if that turns out to be necessary. The last thing you want to end up doing is getting sucked back into this situation and if you entertain a line of thought that leads you to begin discussing how you could make things better with this partner then you have veered off course. Unless you're actually feeling that you'd like to stay in this situation, you need to keep two hands on the wheel of this conversation, so that you stay on the right track.
As we had mentioned before, this is a time when you're going to be explaining to your ex why you no longer want to be with them and they're going to have an emotional response to that on some level, whether it's extreme or not. It's important that you take time to be open to what they have to say. You may not like everything that they have to say to you, but this could be a valuable learning opportunity for you. You can take that information forward with you as you move on and use it to your advantage in future relationships, so really, it's a win-win when you hear them out. Even if you're not happy with what they have to say at first, you'll get over it, and when two people have the opportunity to have their feelings validated as they walk away from a relationship, there is a good chance that they will be able to be completely fine down the road, and have an appreciation for one another.
Again, keep your cool throughout this conversation. This has been touched on through some of the other points in this article, but it also needs to be addressed directly, because it really is important. Yes, emotions will be high. You'll both have feelings and say things about your relationship that the other won't be happy with, and that is to be expected. Keep your cool through all of this. Cooler heads always do prevail, and if you can be open to taking a few hits, you'll find that you come out on the other side in much better shape, and a lot happier. Future meetings won't be negative or painful, and you can both learn from the experience. Keep your cool and good things will ultimately transpire, making your breakup suck far less.
Putting a time limit on the conversation really isn't a good idea because you're both going to have things that you want to say to one another, and if you're constantly checking the time during this conversation there's going to be tension. It's going to end badly if you rush it, so take a laid back approach and don't try to rush the situation along. If it takes more time than you had planned on spending, so be it. On the other hand, you don't want to have it drag out for hours on end because your partner is having a hard time letting go. Once you've both had a chance to say what you need to and the conversation that needs to be had has been had, it's okay to wrap things up, and move forward. You don't need to drag it out once it's been dealt with. Give the conversation the time it needs, but don't be afraid to end it when it's over.
This is really the overall objective here, and of course it may not always be possible, but it's always important that you try. This is the best way that you can make a break up suck less. Don't walk away angry. Once you've said what you need to say, you've heard your partner out, and the conversation has ended, there are sure to be some hard feelings there. If you've really heard each other out though, and you've left things on a mellow, if somewhat somber note, you can be sure that those feelings of resentment will eventually give way to feelings of appreciation and respect. Leaving things on a good note is always the way to go, when it's possible to do so.
However things turn out, it's important that you don't feel bad for moving on. You would't have been doing either of you a favor by staying in a relationship that you weren't happy with. You both deserve to find someone that you can be genuinely happy with, so even if both of you don't see it now, there will be appreciation there down the road. Having the courage to do the right thing isn't always easy, but it's always necessary. We hope this information has helped to provide you with some useful pointers on how to make your break up suck less. Good luck!