When it comes to what a situationship is it may seem a bit broad, but in fact it's pretty clear, once you know what you're looking for. If you think that you might be in a situationship, has the tips you need to determine whether or not you are and what you can do about it. So, what is a situationship? A situationship can be identified by the following indicators: you stay over at each other's place a lot and you're both totally comfortable around each other, you're only seeing them and those close to you aren't sure why this isn't an actual relationship, you speak mostly via text message and your future plans are always short-term, you haven't met each other's friends and still head solo to social gatherings, and there are no labels and you're afraid to talk with them about it. If any of this sounds familiar, then chances are that you're currently in a situationship. It's important to understand this and to figure out what you want to do in terms of moving forward. Eventually, you're going to have to decide. One way or another. Read on for some more information on situationships, how you can recognize them, and what you can do.
This is a pretty obvious one: you're always staying over at each other's places. You both have things like toothbrushes and pajamas at each other's place because you know that you're going to be there again. Neither of you are trying to save face. You're enjoying a sexual relationship with them almost every night of the week and you always end up staying over at one of your places. You're constantly hanging out and doing things together and it's usually just the two of you, so you've become pretty intimate with one another. This is all great and one might even think that it should obviously mean that you're in a committed situation, but that's not necessarily the case. If you're staying over at each other's places a lot and you're having an intimate relationship with only each other but nothing has been defined, then chances are you're in a situationship. This is a solid first indicator but keep reading, because there's still a whole lot more.
You're completely comfortable around each other. It makes no difference at all if he sees you in baggy sweats with no make-up or if she sees you when you first wake up and your hair situation is a hot mess. You're completely comfortable with each other, and you're not even thinking about those things at this point because you passed that point a while ago now. You know each other's routine and you've got the daily dance down pretty well by this point. It would appear that you've got the together-ness down pat, but what about the label? What about the solid stamp that says I'm with him/her? Well, interestingly enough, just because you're at this stage intimacy, doesn't mean that you're in an actual relationship. It can seem strange that there wouldn't be a label on something that's so comfortable, and seems to come so naturally - but when there isn't you can bet that's you've found yourself in a situationship. It's great that the two of you are so comfortable together and having that kind of intimacy and closeness is awesome. When you think about it though... how close are the two of you, really?
The two of you may not have said that you're exclusively with each other, but you are no longer dating. Since you're together most of the time, particularly at night, it's pretty safe to assume that they aren't either. Okay, so now what? You seem to be in a place that most people would love to be in, when it comes to having a significant other. You're only seeing each other, you're with each other a lot, you're both getting the sexual and emotional fulfillment that you could need from each other, and it seems like everything's great. It seems like you're both fulfilled, doesn't it? Are you really fulfilled, though? If you're exclusively spending time with and sleeping with someone that you have no actual title or future plans with though - then yes, you're in a situationship. If you're only seeing one person, you're no longer dating anyone else, and you're intimately spending time - but nothing is official - then you've landed directly in situationship territory, and it's at this point that things could start to get a little bit confusing for you, and for the people around you. The questions will start to come. It's only a matter of time. Which brings us to our next point.
Rightfully so, too. If you've ever seen a friend go through the same thing, then you know you've felt confused about what they're doing. More importantly, you've certainly felt concerned for them. It's a sticky situation to approach a friend when you see them stuck in a situationship. You really never know how questions about this might be received, and it's important to tread lightly because they're probably just as confused as you are about it. They're probably thinking about it often as well, and it's likely that they don't have the answer. When you're in a situationship, you might not even notice it right away, and by the time you do there's a good chance that you're already so confused about how to proceed yourself that you really aren't into having to answer questions about it to other people. Remember though, it's unrealistic for those who care about you to see you in such a circumstance and not ask you about it. They care about you and they want you to be okay. Their concern is genuine, so try your best to go easy on them when they ask, because the questions are definitely going to come, and when it comes to situations like this, they're likely going to come at a time when you really wish they wouldn't.
Everything in this area may not exactly be cut and dry. We live in the smartphone age, and that means a lot of communication in the form of messages. When you talk with the person you're spending time with and it's never via an actual telephone conversation, it's always via text messaging or some other form of instant messaging, this needs to be a red flag. I think after a while we can all pretty safely recognize that when we're with someone who is truly into us, we can expect the phone to ring now and then. It's a lot more personal, and it shows more in the way of effort. If texting is the way it has always been though, and it appears that this will continue to be the case, you're probably in a situationship. Keeping things impersonal, via message, is a great way to keep someone at arm's length. It doesn't express in any way, any sort of interest that goes beyond what you're currently doing. This is an important one, as is the content of the conversations you're having in these messages.
You're getting the standard text from Mr./Ms. situationship for your upcoming plans and it's the same as always: messages about your upcoming plans for the next few days or the coming week. The plans never go beyond that though, an that needs to be a major red flag, as well. It's the same story each week, and it was comfortable for a while, but now you're starting to ask yourself some more questions about things. Why are the plans the two of you make only ever for the next few days or a week? Why can't they see themselves with you beyond that? As sure as you knew you'd receive this message to make these plans for the upcoming week, you're also pretty sure that you'll be receiving the same message next week, the week after, and so on. There's clearly a road block here, and it's important to recognize and be aware of this. It's textbook situationship behavior.
This is a really big one. Maybe as you get to know someone for the first couple of months, you won't be meeting their friends or family. That's totally understandable. You're still in your bubble of bliss, getting to know each other and that's normal on all accounts. If more months go buy though, and you're still not meeting any of their friends or family, then you need to ask yourself why that is. If you're still heading solo to social gatherings on your own, and they're not inviting you to any of theirs, then you can be sure you're in a situationship. Even more of a red flag, is if you're asking them about expanding on things and getting to know each other's family and friends, but they keep finding reasons not to. That's got situationship written all over it.
The situationship is the easiest way to get everything you want from someone, without ever having to necessarily be responsible for your actions, or explain yourself when you decide to walk away. Having all of the companionship, sex, emotional fulfillment, etc that comes from being in a relationship, when you have no labels, is the perfect way to have your cake and eat it too. When you have absolutely no intention of taking things to another level, it's easy to just say, 'well, we don't need a label'. It's not to say that this is always going to be a worst case scenario type of outcome, but generally speaking, it is a huge indicator of being caught up in a situationship, and unless you address it with the person you're, 'situation-ing' with, you're never going to get the answers that you're definitely starting to look for by now.
If you're afraid to talk about it with them, then chances are that they're afraid to talk about it with you as well. Keep in mind though, that you may both be afraid for different reasons. Either way though, it's important that you do ultimately have the talk with them about this. Who knows what the outcome might be. Maybe you want more, but you're afraid they don't. They might be feeling the same way! It's also possible that they might not be. Whatever the case may be, you ultimately need to ask and find out, if you ever want to get out of situationship territory. Once you've talked to them, you can start thinking things through, and come to a decision.
Be honest with yourself about what you want. If you both want more, that is great! If you do and they don't, it's a good idea to move on. Whatever the case may be, it's important to make the right decision for yourself. You've been participating in the situationship as well, so is there a chance that maybe you're not feeling ready for more? It's worth asking yourself. If they want something that's different from you, one way or the other, you need to be very honest with yourself about how you should be moving forward because there are two people with some level of emotional investment in this situation. Whatever happens, you're going to be just fine, and you'll be prepared to see the signs the next time a situationship comes along. We hope this article has helped!