Hooking up leads to lulls sometimes, and that's totally normal if you're doing it a lot! But when you can't meet anyone new for a hookup, who can you go to to get laid? Your ex! This is someone you already know, who already knows what you like, and will probably be down for some sexytimes with you. But can you hook up with an ex casually? Yes, you can! We're about to tell you exactly how to hookup with your ex with no strings attached! Everyone can get laid, and nobody gets hurt again. It's a winning situation all around!
There are some strict rules that you need to stick to if you're hooking with your ex and you want to keep those strings detached. We lay them all out here so you know exactly what you're getting into and how to keep it under control. Have all the sex you want with the person you knows how to get you off, without having to worry about anything developing again between you. It's easier than you think, once you know how to do it!
When you're hooking up with your ex and trying to keep any attachments from forming, you need to keep focus entirely on the sex. All of your meet-ups should involve you two having sex, and nothing else! If you let things get easy and starting spending time together where you aren't hot and heavy, then you're in very dangerous territory. Things can get very romantic very quickly if you let them, so stay on course and remember why you contacted your ex in the first place - their sexual skills!
You two can joke around a little bit, but don't get too intimate or share too many memories to the good old days. We're laying it all the line here so you know just what to steer clear of to keep your hookups with your ex completely free of strings. If you want to have nothing but incredible sex, then keep it all abut the sex, all the time whenever you're with your ex. These are some things that you want to keep in mind during these hookups to keep things going with no drama or commitments.
We really shouldn't need to say this, because why would you want to spend time with someone you broke up with if you aren't naked? But one thing that you need to do is avoid hanging out with your ex when you aren't hooking up. This means no sticking around afterward to order a pizza and watch Netflix, and no showing up early to chill first. These are things that people do when they're dating, and you are not dating your ex. You want to hook up with them without those strings, so don't confuse things. No hangouts, only sex!
If you aren't sure if what you're doing qualifies as a "hangout", ask yourself this: Are you spending time with your ex that won't involve sex in the immediate future? If the answer is yes, then get out of there! You're straight-up chilling with your ex, and you don't want to be doing that! If you get the feeling that your ex is trying to get you over early or to stay later so you can spend time together, you need to consider ending the hookups, because they may be catching feelings again.
If you want a fool-proof method on how to hook up with your ex with no strings attached, then don't go down memory lane with them. There's absolutely no need to reminisce about the time you did something cute together, or your first romantic getaway - the only memories you should be talking about is your best sex, and how to stop that now. That's it. Only sex, all the time when you're hooking up with your ex, and don't let yourself be talked down that dark road to happy memories of previous love. There's no reason for it.
It's bound to come up naturally from time to time, you two did date after all, but when something like a fond memory comes up, just move past it. Don't dwell on it or go into detail, just mention it, and then continue like it's no big deal. You can remember your ex fondly in your own mind if you want to, but to keep those strings at bay, you want to avoid talking about them with your ex when you're hooking up.
No strings attached sex with your ex means no texting on off hookup hours about sex. You might need to be in contact with them, like if you're sharing custody of kids, for instance, so not messaging or calling them might be unrealistic for your situation. But if you're trying to keep things low-key and free of strings, then don't talk about sex or send sexy texts when you aren't hooking up. Sexy, flirty texts are what couples do, and you two aren't a couple anymore, so don't go down that slippery slope that's going to get you some feelings.
If you're in a sexy mood, then just text them to come over, don't be flirtatious about it. You don't want to send your ex mixed signals, and sexting them is definitely doing that. If your ex can't come over, then text someone else that you're hooking up with or dating, don't rely solely on your ex to get you off. Sext your other hookups or someone that you're seeing instead, and take things from there, but don't send those kinds of messages to your ex, ever.
You want to know how to hook up with your ex with no strings attached? Remember why you aren't together! That alone should be enough to keep you from wandering into feelings territory, so if you're ever in doubt, think back. It can be really helpful in this situation to keep this stuff at the forefront, just in case you start to fall back into old habits. Like we said, it's really easy to fall back into patterns that you used to have when you were a couple, especially because you're having sex. To keep you two from getting attached again, keep it to the sex, and remember why you don't work as a couple.
If you can't remember on your own, ask them to remind you, because they'll remember! It's important that you keep this distance when you're hooking up with your ex, so that you can remain free of strings and strictly sexual. There are a few ways to remind yourself of the reasons why you aren't together anymore, and some things that you should note as well.
Your ex is your ex for a reason, so remember exactly what those reasons are, and hold onto them! There's probably more than one reason (unless they cheated), so list those reasons to yourself to get your mind back on track to what matters - sex! If you two made a good couple and were good at anything together aside from sex, then they wouldn't be your ex. There's nothing wrong with getting off with an ex if you two have amazing sex together, but you can't forget what doesn't work between you two. It probably won't take much time outside of sex to remind yourselves, but just in case, have those reasons in mind.
It can be extra hard to remember these things if you two were together for a long time, or if you two share custody, but in the end, you must know that you two are better off apart. You just also happen to know that you're extremely great together in bed, so take advantage of that!
You're just hooking up with your ex, and since there are no strings attached, you should also date other people. Dating other people is a great way to keep yourself from falling back into old habits with your ex, and from wanting to spend time with them. We tend to go back to what we know when we're feeling lonely, and if that sounds like you and you're going back to your ex to fill your heart, stop! Let them fill your bed, and that's all! There are lots of other people out there who will be interested in you, you just have to get out there!
If you can meet new people and find romantic connections with people who aren't your ex, you'll have zero inclination to develop any feelings for your ex whatsoever. It'll be so easy for you to keep it just about sex, and that's exactly what you want when you're hooking up with an ex! See and date other people casually, and hookup with your ex on the side until things get more serious with someone else.
This is your ex, and someone that you're just hooking up with, so you are not allowed to be jealous of anything they do, or anyone they spend time with. The same goes for them; they can't take any issues with what you get up to when you two aren't hooking up, because you aren't together anymore. You don't owe each other anything, so just do you and forget about your ex when you're not having sex! They are not apart of your life anymore, so you're no longer allowed to care what they're up to.
The same goes for your ex as well! If you get the feeling that your ex is getting jealous of you not hooking up with them when they want to because you have other plans, remind them of your situation - you two are figuring out how to hook up with your ex with no strings attached, not dating. If they can't shake their jealousy, then cut that cord, you don't need that in your life. You only wanted them for the sex anyway, and there are lots of guys out there who can fill that spot.
If at any point during your casual hookup with your ex you start to develop feelings again, stop hooking up with them immediately! You don't want to go down that path again, and the one and only to keep that from happening is to stop having sex with and seeing your ex. It's way too easy to fall in love with someone that you had a comfortable, sexual relationship, but like we said before, there's a reason you two aren't together anymore. Don't let amazing sex cloud your better judgement. This is not the only guy out there; he is not Mr. Right, he is Mr. Right Now, and don't you forget it!
You can be friends in the future if you enjoy their company, but until you're over those budding feelings, it's best that you steer clear of your ex, and that obviously includes hooking up. Once one of your starts to catch feelings, it's no longer a no strings attached hookup, so it no longer works. Have fun while it's fun and don't feel bad about ending things when they naturally come to their ending point, even if it's just because you developed some feels.