Navigating the dating world and trying to find a relationship is hard enough, but add hookup culture to the mix and you've got total chaos! What can you do to find yourself a relationship when it seems like everyone out there is just looking for sex? That's where we come in! We're going to tell you all about how to survive hookup culture when seeking a relationship, so you don't get lost in the craziness. It's not as scary as it seems, but you'll see that once you get out there.
Finding a relationship these days is tougher than it used to be, but by no means is it impossible. You hear about love stories that started on Tinder, and all kinds of things from online dating, so it's totally doable - you just have to survive the hookup prowlers in the meantime! There are easy ways to pick out the hookup hunters, and stay on the right path to finding a real relationship in today's casual sex culture, and we're going to fill you in on all of them! Be prepared to take notes, because you won't find more helpful advice than this!
This is the one situation where you absolutely want to let yourself be picky. If a guy doesn't meet a specific criteria, then he's no longer in the running for you, and it really is that simple. Don't settle in any way when you're trying to survive hookup culture when seeking a relationship, because the only way to find what you're really looking for is to keep searching until you find it. You don't just say "eh, close enough" and are done with it. It's totally okay to be this picky in today's dating world - you almost have to be to meet the right kinds of people!
You aren't the only one setting standards for yourself and holding out until you find the one person that fits with all of the checkmarks on your list; these are the people who find lasting relationships where they're truly happy. Settling never ends in happiness for anyone involved, so do not be afraid to pick and choose people who do and don't meet what you're looking for. You will find what you're looking for, so don't rush it!
Set high standards for yourself and what you're looking for in a partner, and stick to them. If anyone doesn't meet that standard then say goodbye. In hookup culture, it's essential to have these standards, because there are so many people out there who are just trying to hook up, and will just about anything to get it. Don't let these people fool you; spend time with them to find out what they're like, and then you can make your decision about whether or not you think they're genuine. If you think they really do want the same things as you, then full steam ahead! But if you have doubt, then take it slower until you're sure they meet your standards.
You also don't want to rush into sleeping with anyone when you're looking for a relationship, because it's very easy to confuse the meaning in hookup culture. The person you're trying to start a relationship with might think you're only into hookups, or they themselves might just be after sex, but you would only have known that if you got to them a little bit better first. Their true intentions would reveal themselves eventually, and with these kinds of people, it would be sooner rather than later.
Part of dating is rejection - it's just a natural part of how it goes. You aren't going to match with everyone you go out with, and you're going to have to turn some guys down who aren't up to snuff. Don't feel bad about it, and don't be afraid to do it. They'll understand! It's better to cut things off before they get started and be honest then to waste both yours and their time. It'll be tough to do at first, but the more you get out there and date, the more you're going to have to reject people, but you'll find ways to do it that you're comfortable with eventually.
When you're being picky about who you want to be with, rejection is an obvious factor. A lot of people are not going to meet your standards, and the longer you keep them around, the worse it'll be for both of you to say goodbye - for you, it'll be guilt, for them it'll be hurt, so let them go as soon as you realize they aren't what you're looking for in a partner, or that they aren't looking for the right things with you.
To really meet somebody and connect, you have to be open about your intentions, but you also need to be open to what comes. You're going to experience all kinds of things, so go with the flow and let it happen as it happens. Obviously, you're still in control of every situation, but don't be so in your own head that you're living in the moment enough to assess what's really happening and if you're connecting with this person. If you feel like you have a good connection with someone, be open to that becoming stronger. But also be open to the fact that you might need to end it if that connection doesn't end up being what you wanted; just be prepared to accept whatever comes your way.
It may sound like silly advice when you're dating within hookup culture, but it's very easy to get stressed and overwhelmed and forget about this simple fact. Just breathe, and go with your gut instinct, and don't close yourself off to things that come to you, and the people you meet.
Set rules for yourself when you're getting out there, because it can be really tough to not fall for a fvckboy if you haven't prepared for it. We'll get into that in a minute, but basically, lay out some things that you will and won't allow yourself to do while you're trying to find a relationship within today's hookup culture. You'll be surprised how much easier things will be for you when you do this; it really does help sort through all the BS and find the gems worth spending more time with.
Don't be too hard on yourself if you break some of your rules either. You set them for yourself, and if you break one, oh well, next time you won't and you'll have learned something from it. There are some rules that are more important than others, so we're going to mention the most helpful and relevant ones for you to get you started. Remember, no settling, so lay out whatever you think you have to for yourself to keep you from doing that! Have expectations of the people you're dating as well, as another side-rule.
If you want to seriously know how to survive hookup culture when seeking a relationship, then this is the kind of guy you want to avoid at all costs. Fu*kboys want nothing but sex, and they'll say and do anything just to get it. They tend to be very selfish people, and they don't care if they hurt anyone in the process of getting laid. So, knowing this, one of your top rules should be to steer clear of these guys wherever you go. They're pretty obvious to spot, so it won't be hard to tell who they are in any kind of crowd, especially if they approach you for a hookup.
If you get the sense that a guy you're spending time with might fall under this category, then run! They will waste your time and not give two sh*ts about doing it, so don't give them the time of day. Stick to real guys who seem more genuine, and are much less douchey then fvckboys tend to be. Trust us, this will save you a lot of heartache and time.
Red flags are there for a reason, and you need to always pay attention to them! If something doesn't feel or seem right to you about a guy, don't doubt yourself or that feeling. Cut them loose and move onto the next one. You don't want to find out what that thing is that was "off" about them. These could be red flags about the personal rules that you set for yourself - maybe they don't meet your criteria, or they seem to have less than good intentions, but whatever it is, listen to your instinct.
Red flags could also be much more serious things that involve your safety. A guy could be really creepy, and saying all kinds of odd things that make you uncomfortable, and that alone is a major red flag that you should never ignore. If a guy makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, get out of there immediately. Don't feel bad, and don't assume it'll pass - you feel that way for a reason so it's time to listen!
When it comes to how to survive hookup culture when seeking a relationship, you have to put yourself at the forefront. It's all about you; what makes you happy, what you want, what you need. Never put anyone else's needs or wants before your own, especially someone who you've just started dating or hooking up with. As long as you feel content, safe, and satisfied with how things are going, you're in a good place. If you start to not feel those things anymore, then it's best for you to leave. Don't doubt that, and don't put the fear of hurting someone above what's best for you.
This goes for finding a new relationship, avoiding empty hookups, and long-term in life. It's only healthy to put yourself and your needs before anyone else's, and that's not a selfish thing to do. That doesn't mean you need to neglect other peoples', but if there's ever doubt about the best move or decision to make, what's best for you in the end is what should always prevail above everything else. After all, that's what it's all about isn't it? Sure, there are exceptions, like when you have children, but for now, you come first.
Don't feel like you need to meet someone right away. Navigating and surviving hookup culture takes time, and you'll probably go on quite a few dud dates before you meet someone worth really getting to know. Don't rush it, and don't make last second decisions. Take time to get to know people, figure out what you want, feel out each encounter and connection. There's no need to go out and stay with the first guy you date, and you should also NOT do this. Enjoy dating while you find the right person for a relationship, and stick to your standards while you do it.
Surviving hookup culture can be easy if you know what to look out for, and if you're confident in what you want, you'll have no problem getting through it to the other side with a lasting relationship. It'll be more than worth the effort in the end, so have at it and enjoy!